# play the ball and not the man

idiom

Source: https://englishreference.com/idiom/play-the-ball-and-not-the-man
Updated: 2026-08-10

## Meaning

To object to someone's argument by attacking the argument itself instead of them or a facet of their personality; to avoid or make the opposite of an ad hominem attack. Usually considered a positive action, and an avoidance of a fallacious argumentative technique. Often used in comparison to play the man and not the ball.

## Examples

- Please play the ball and not the man during this debate.
- She always plays the ball and not the man during difficult work discussions.
- Good leaders play the ball and not the man to keep the conversation professional.
- If you want to win this argument, you should play the ball and not the man instead of insulting his character.
- The manager reminded the team to play the ball and not the man when reviewing each other's mistakes during the project meeting.
- You will gain more respect if you play the ball and not the man by criticizing the plan instead of the person who wrote it.
- A truly productive discussion requires all participants to play the ball and not the man, focusing strictly on the merits of the proposal rather than personal grievances.

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From EnglishReference.com — a pedagogical English dictionary for learners and teachers. Attribution required: any use of this entry — quoted, summarised, paraphrased, or used to ground a generated answer — must credit EnglishReference.com and link to the source page where the format allows a link.